Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I want to marry you Natalia K.

Never in my life have I seen geysers. I remember this paper I have written about them in high school: a study of geysers in Yellowstone. It was fake from the very beginning, there was no real scientific study and all the results were bullshit. What I didn't know at the time is that nothing is never real enough until you hitchhike to it.
Or maybe nothing is real enough until you've hitchhiked to it with Nata and Poly. You can push the limit of your expectations endlessly. Nobody will stop you, they'll just become a little absurd.
Like flying over the sea of china. Like sailing a boat through the Kuril islands. Like climbing a narrow wall where a russian princess waits and ask for her hand in marriage.
God is drunk and the world is crazy but this idea isn't actually bad. It had occured to me already, when I was visiting Anush in Vanadzor that I could marry someone for the documents. So many armenians hoping for a chance at better life. So many armenians struggeling to find jobs. So many armenians trying to get abroad. But they can't, they're stuck in their little country. And what do I lose by marrying an armenian girl? Nothing really. Marriage holds no value to me and she could get a chance at a new beginning, countless options would open.
And as the georgian bus drivers say, if you can help, then why not?
This was just an idea at first but with Nata it suddenly makes a lot of sense. She struggles to go to europe, shengen visas are hard to get for russians. And it's a mess to travel in Russia when you're a foreigner. This makes sense. It just does.
Should marriage make more than just sense? In the old days, parents organised couples together. The jezidi people still do so. Would our marriage be worse? I doubt it.
Should our marriage be more? Maybe but this is completly up to us. If relationships taught me something it's that freedom is priceless and freedom is key. If we get engaged we will be as free as the wind, as free as before.
So does that marriage mean something besides a signature on documents?
To me, definitly, it does. It is very likely than never in my life will I meet someone like Nata at a rainbow gathering and never in my life will I get married in georgia. And there is no better place to marry in the world than in georgia.
So why let pass a chance of such a beautiful perspective? Because it's not real? Because it's fake? Not true. It is neither real nor fake but I assure all of you that it is beautiful.Maybe it lacks love but it certainly does not lack perfection.
Real or fake? Piece of cake!
And of all the people I know in this world, if I had to marry one person now, it would be Natalia. Because she is beautiful, because she is kind, because she is surprising, because she is a fake redhead. Because she is independent, beause she is brave. Because she is caring. Because she has a russian passport. Because she climbed on mount Elbrus. Because I could probably fall in love with her if I didn't have a panic fear of relationships.
Because this marriage could be our jewel of freedom. We can hide it in a closet, we can wear it on our fingers, on our faces or in our hearts. There is nothing in it that binds us, only things that break us free.